Chapter 26

Buffy rolled over without opening her eyes, a smile formed on her lips as she collided with a hard, warm body. Blindly she ran her fingers down his side, enjoying the feel of his skin and hard muscle under her fingertips. Her smile turned into a grin as he grabbed her hand, bringing it against his chest and kept it there, unmoving.

“Stop tickling me”, Angel mumbled against his pillow. She opened her eyes and let out a short amused laugh before shifting closer to him.

“Sorry”, she whispered against his shoulder and pressed a soft kiss to the crook of his neck. She continued shedding small kisses to his neck and shoulder, smiling against his skin as his fingers tightened around her hand and he brought it to his lips, placing a soft kiss to her knuckles. Her lips traveled up his neck as she pulled her hand away from his and slowly moved it down his flat stomach to under the sheet. He let out a throaty groan as her fingers wrapped around his morning hard on, giving it a gentle squeeze. She grinned against his neck. “Good morning, lover”, she whispered huskily to his ear and traced the shell with the tip of her tongue. He let out a soft chuckle.

“Very good so far.” He took her hand into his, pulling it off his cock and turned around to face her. “Hey”, he whispered with a lopsided smile. He placed her hands on the pillow above her head and claimed her lips with a kiss that started slowly, almost tentatively but soon turned more passionate and needy. He settled between her thighs, keeping his weight off of her by leaning into his arms while his fingers twined with hers.

When the need to breath came an issue, he playfully nipped at her lower lip and trailed small kisses down her neck as his hands moved down her arms. She arched against him, whispering his name in a breathy sigh as his hands covered her breasts, gently rubbing the mounds of soft flesh.

“I want you”, she whispered into his ear before bringing her arms down and running her hands over his smooth back, feeling the strong muscles rippling under her fingertips. He grinned against the crook of her neck, she was getting impatient but he didn't want to just plunge in and rut like an animal, well he did, but he had more self-control than that.

“Easy there, baby. We have all day”, he promised huskily and scraped his teeth across the spot he knew drove her crazy. But then the phone rang, interrupting the heated moment. Angel groaned and buried his head to the pillow next to her shoulder.

“Don't answer it”, she said and brushed her lips against the side of his face, her hand moving down his back. With another groan, he lifted his head from the pillow, stole a quick kiss from her lips and reached for the cellphone that was on the nightstand. He narrowed his eyes, trying to focus on the name and number that was on the screen.

“Shit!” he uttered as he saw who the caller was. He moved off of her and sat up, staring at the phone trying to make up his mind if he should answer it or not. He ran his fingers through his hair and pressed the button, bringing the phone to his ear. “What do you want”, he answered to the phone, his voice indifferent.

Buffy rose up to lean back on her arms and watched him curiously. The longer he was on the phone, the more irritated he became, she could see the tension building in his shoulders and back. She reached out to him intending to sooth away some of the tension, but before she could touch him, he got up from the bed and grabbed his pants from the floor, pulling them on with angry moves. She watched as he walked out of the room, still talking to the phone with a harsh but controlled tone.

With a sigh Buffy got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom. She took a long shower and used even more time on drying her hair and getting dressed because she wanted to give Angel enough time to finish the phone call and calm down. When she went downstairs, it was quiet. She made her way to the kitchen where she found him making breakfast, his movements were hasty and the tension hadn't left his body that radiated something stronger than just simple irritation. Without saying anything she sat to the table and settled into watching him cook, something she usually enjoyed.

Finally Angel set a plate in front of her and took a seat across the table. For a long while Buffy watched as he played with his food, moving it from side to side with the fork. She bit her lower lip, almost breaking the skin till finally she broke the silence, “Okay, I can take this silence only for so long. Are you okay? Are you having a major meltdown?”

Angel raised his eyes from the plate to to her face and let out a dry chuckle. “I'm fine. And no, I'm not having a meltdown. The caller, it was Janine. My mother.” He took a short pause and a humorless laugh fell from his lips. “She wants to meet me for lunch. Apparently she got bored with Paris and decided to visit LA.”

Buffy didn't know what to say to that, she knew he had issues with his mother, but she couldn't have guessed that it was so bad that he would get this worked up over a simple phone call. “I'm sorry”, she whispered uncertainly, she had a feeling he didn't want to talk about it.

He let out a long sigh and pushed his plate away, giving her his full attention. “No, don't be. It's just the usual bullshit between me and Janine. She never was the motherly type, the only reason I'm here is because she needed to get knocked up to trap my father. Kathy... she was a accident, grandfather found out and Janine couldn't get an abortion because of that, she was the only good thing that came out of that fiasco.”

“Angel”, Buffy whispered his name, chastising him and reached out for his hand, taking it into hers. He tried to pull it free, but she didn't let him. “Angel, you're a good thing too”, she said, then frowned. “Okay, that sounded retarded, but you know what I mean. Don't put yourself down like that, you're a good man, sometimes little too arrogant, but you are the other good thing that came out of that marriage”, she continued vehemently, her eyes challenging him to contradict her. He let out a humorless chuckle, his lips twisting into a grin.

“I think you're a little biased”, he stated with a soft, teasing voice.

“Maybe. Only a little”, she answered.

When Angel didn't show up after the meeting with his mother, Buffy figured he just needed some time to himself. He had been upset over a phone call so she couldn't even imagine what a meeting with her would do. But when it had been several hours and he hadn't called or answered her calls, she started to get worried.

Buffy was sitting in the living room, desperately trying to concentrate on the article she was reading. But she didn't seem to be succeeding, so with a tired sigh she put down the magazine and turned her gaze to the window. It was already dark. A frowned formed to her face as she looked at the clock on the wall. Deciding to find him even if she would have to harass his friends and search every bar in Los Angeles, she got up from the couch. She grabbed the car keys from the table along with her bag and flipped open her cellphone as she made her way to the door, dialing the number as she walked. She held it between her head and shoulder as she pulled on her coat and put the porch light on with her elbow before walking out the door, locking it behind her while juggling with the phone and purse. She cursed under her breath as she dropped the handbag, spilling everything all over the floor. Huffing in irritation she shut the phone, throwing it into the bag as Angel didn't answer his phone and started to gather her things from the porch floor.

She had already managed to get into the car when the phone started ringing. Quickly she dug it out of the purse and answered it immediately as she saw the caller was Angel. “Angel?”

“Yeah. It's me”, answered Angel's slurred voice. Buffy frowned, he had been drinking and judging by the sound of his voice he had been drinking a lot. But she still couldn't help but feel relief taking over her body from the knowledge that he was still among the living.

“Are you okay?”

“Just fine. Me and Jack have had a lovely evening”, he answered and Buffy could hear him take a healthy swig out of a bottle.

“Jack?” she asked with a frown.

“Daniels”, came the answer with a almost giddy giggle following it. “We're old, goo-od friends, me and Jack.”

She heard him take another long drink from the bottle. “Where are you? I'll come and get you home.”

“Don't! Don't come. I've been drinking. Drinking a lot. I'm just gonna sleep it off. Here. Right here”, he slurred and she heard the leather creak as he laid down.

“Where?” she repeated the question.

“At my place. Don't come here. I don't want... I don't want you to be here when I'm... uhm... like - like this.”

“Angel, I'm already in the car, I could”, she started, but he interrupted her.

“No. Don't come here. I'll see you tomorrow.”

And with that, he hung up. For a long while Buffy just sat in the car, trying to make up her mind if she should go to his place despite his request not to. Finally she removed the key from the ignition and stepped out of the car. Suddenly she felt tired, the relief of knowing that he was okay seemed to have taken the edge off, but she doubted she would be getting much sleep since she always slept better with him next to her.

Buffy took a deep breath before opening the front door and stepping in. She had decided to let herself in instead of ringing the bell thinking Angel might have been still sleeping it off. Her hunch wasn't right since she found him sitting in the living room, still a little drunk. Her gaze ran over the room, it was in terrible condition, things had been thrown around and there were empty whiskey and beer bottles littering the floor.

“Hey”, she greeted softly. The grim look on his face softened and he turned to look at her with a drunken grin.

“Hey yourself”, he answered and got up from the sofa, taking few staggering steps closer to her.

“Are you still drunk?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Not much. But I wish I was because...” Angel didn't get to finish what he was about to say when a dark haired woman in her fifties walked into the room with a distasteful look on her face. Buffy took a quick look at her, her wrinkles had been straightened with botox and plastic surgery, and it was clear she hadn't stopped with just one improvement.

“You really should hire a maid, Angelus, this place is filthy. And considering on how much money you're sitting on, you shouldn't be living in a small dump like this”, the woman said with a grimace, then her cold blue eyes fell on Buffy. “Well, well”, she drawled and gave Buffy a long scrutinizing look, then turned her eyes to Angel.

“Janine is here”, Angel finished what he had been saying, ignoring his mother.

“Aren't you going to introduce your friend?” Janine asked and again ran her eyes over Buffy, her gaze lingering on the blonde's pregnant stomach.

“Didn't plan on it”, Angel stated, then sighed and did the introductions. “Buffy, this is Janine Ellsworth, at the moment. It's hard to keep up as her last name keeps changing. Janine, this is Buffy Summers, my girlfriend.”

Buffy gave the woman a sweet smile and offered her hand. “It's nice to meet you”, she said politely.

Janine just looked at the offered hand like it was another life form, then raised her cool eyes to Buffy's face. “I wouldn't say that”, she stated, dismissing her and turning her attention to Angel. “She's young. And obviously not good for you since you're already drunk in the middle of the day.”

Angel gritted his teeth, his whole presence darkening from her words. “The reason why I'm drunk right now is you”, he growled, but Janine just rolled her eyes.

“Oh please, Angelus. Don't be such a dram queen”, she scoffed, then turned her eyes back to Buffy eying her with a look of superiority. “So, you're the little girl after my son's money”, she said airily and once again ran her gaze over Buffy's body. “You don't look like much, you aren't even fit to be a trophy wife.”

Buffy glared at the irritating woman, her teeth digging into her lip so she wouldn't say anything back to her. Forcing her teeth out of her lip, she turned to Angel whose dark eyes were glaring at his mother, he looked like he was ready to say something and it wasn't suitable to children's ears. “I'm gonna go and make some coffee”, she said to him and quickly fled the room before anyone said anything to it. She needed to get far away from the bitch that was Angel's mother because she didn't want to make things even more difficult between the two and she didn't know how long she could have kept herself silent.

“You always were easily fooled”, Janine stated, looking at the now closed door with a distasteful look on her face.

“I have never been easily fooled, you're confusing me with father. The baby is mine and I don't give a flying shit of what you think”, Angel answered, keeping his voice cool and collected.

“So it was just an accident that she got pregnant?” she asked, making quotation marks in the air when she said the word accident. The tone of her voice made it clear what she thought of the matter.

“You're confused again, she's not you”, he stated, his dark eyes drilling into her showing his resentment. She voiced a very unladylike snort.

“Don't kid yourself, Angelus. You're sitting on a lot of money and once the old man kicks the bucket you'll inherit it all, so don't lull yourself into the illusion that that gold digger is with you just because of your wonderful personality.”

“Why this sudden concern?” Angel asked giving the woman a scrutinizing look. It had been nearly a year since he had even heard of his mother and he preferred it that way.

“You are my son”, Janine answered like it was obvious.

He let out a dry chuckle, his lips turning into a sarcastic grin. “I haven't been your son since the day you lost the custody to Daniel along with the alimony.”

“Don't play the victim, Angelus, it doesn't suit you”, she said coolly, her eyes narrowing.

“It doesn't suit you either, mother dear”, he answered, his voice dripping with sarcasm that clearly irked the woman.

“Angelus”, she chastised, trying her best to sound like a loving mother who had just been insulted. Angel just looked heavenwards, clearly not buying her theatrics. Seeing he wasn't believing her, she turned serious. “I am your mother and as such I am warning you about that girl. The bastard probably isn't even yours.”

Angel turned away, like he couldn't stand to look at her and made his way to the bar, pouring himself a drink from a bottle that still had some alcohol in it. For a while he just stared into the glass, he knew it would do no good, but it was the standard reaction to his mother's visit. He swallowed the alcohol with two gulps and turned to his mother. “Why the fuck did you have to come here now?” he questioned, his voice dead calm but his eyes were storming with anger.

“What's wrong with this time?” Janine asked nonchalantly.

“You know perfectly well what day today is”, he answered gritting his teeth. He eyed the woman before him like he wanted to strangle her, his hand curled into a fist and he had to take a deep breath so he wouldn't smash it into a wall.

“It's been ten years already, Angelus. Why can't you just forget it?” she sighed.

“Forget it? Just fucking get over it?!” he questioned with his voice rising. “On the anniversary of my sister's death YOU have the nerve to tell me to just forget it. It's your fucking fault that she's dead!”

Janine let out a overdramatic gasp, raising her hand to her chest. “It wasn't my fault”, she swore.

Angel growled and took a menacing step closer to her, but his voice was eerily calm when he spoke. “Leave. Right now.”

“Angelus!” Janine said his name with false bravado, the coldness he was radiating was scaring her and she knew she had gone too far since the memory of his sister was sacred to him, but still she wasn't willing to back down just like that.

“Now”, Angel ground out, his voice low and dark. For a short moment they just stared into each others eyes, testing who was the one to back down, but realizing she wasn't going to win this one, that she had stepped over the line, Janine huffed in irritation, she grabbed her purse and walked out the door, closing it with a bang.

The moment the door closed, Angel hit the wall with all the strength he had. His fist sank into the wall causing agonizing pain to shoot through him, taking over his whole arm. Slowly he pulled his first out of the dent he had created and looked at the bloody hand like it didn't belong to him. Blood was seeping from the cuts and the pain was clear as his mind and body wasn't numbed with alcohol anymore, but all he could do was stare.

Buffy's soft gasp brought him back to reality, drawing his gaze to her. Her eyes were glued on the bloody hand and her lips parted in shock. Breaking out of the stupor, she crossed the distance between them and reached out to him, but didn't dare to touch his hand in the fear of hurting him. She wanted to ask what had happened, but when she saw the hole in the wall she ditched the question.

“We're going to a hospital”, she stated, but he shook his head.

“No. Don't need one”, he stated, the pain was shooting through him with agonizing clarity as the fog caused by the alcohol had cleared up, but he welcomed it. Buffy's eyes narrowed and she openly glared at him.

“It's probably broken, so we're going to a hospital and that's final”, she repeated, her voice leaving no room for negotiation.

Some hours later Buffy and Angel were sitting on the living room couch at her house. Like she had suspected, his hand was broken and now covered with a cast. Despite the pain he hadn't had any painkillers because there was still alcohol in his bloodstream, so she did her best to distract him from the pain as she encouraged him to talk to her, get the things that were bothering him off his chest.

Angel took her hand into his good one and pressed a soft kiss to the knuckles. He let out a long breath, he knew Buffy wanted to know the whole story, but he wasn't sure if he could tell it to her. “The drawing of Kathy at my place”, he started quietly, his fingers curling around hers. “It's made from a photo. Actually it was all there was left of her. My parents didn't get along even when she was born, but it all exploded when Kathy died. Janine didn't feel any chains of responsibility and father drank himself to death. For him it was just too hard to see any reminder of Kathy, so he destroyed everything, every photo, every stuffed animal... he burned it all, nearly burned the whole house as he built the fire in her bedroom. I wasn't even ten when she died, but I can still remember every damn thing about her.”

He let out a ragged breath and pulled his hand away from hers. He wouldn't look at her, he knew she was watching him with those huge hazel green eyes full of sympathy that he didn't want, he didn't want or need her to feel sorry for him, to pity him.

“How did she... pass away?” she asked quietly, then quickly added, “You don't have to answer that.”

“She drowned, fell into a pool. I came home from Wesley's house and found her there. She was home alone because Janine had decided to meet her latest boyfriend. She didn't know how to swim, I was going to teach her that summer”, he answered, letting out a breath he had been holding. Suddenly he sat up straight and made a move to stand up. “I need a drink,” he stated to himself, the memories had come flooding back and he needed something to numb them again.

Buffy reached out, her fingers wrapping around his wrist and affectively stopped him from getting up from the couch. He turned to look at her with questioning eyes. “Please don't”, she whispered.

He just stared at her pleading face and he stayed silent as she cradled his hand between hers. Slowly his eyes drifted down to her stomach and he slid off the couch, falling down to his knees on the floor before her. She didn't move or say anything, she just watched as he moved her shirt out of the way and pressed his ear against the bare skin, listening carefully. Tentatively she lowered her hand to his head, slowly running her fingers through his hair. She could see that he was deep in thought and she didn't want to interrupt him.

At last he lifted his head and raised his eyes from her stomach to her face, there was so much emotion in his dark eyes that it made her want to weep. “I want to be a good father”, he stated and turned his gaze back to the proof that a part of him was growing inside her. He spread his fingers over the pronounced bump. Meeting his mother had brought back memories that he thought he had forgotten, or at least hoped that he had.

“You will be”, Buffy assured him, her voice showing her conviction. He didn't say anything, just lowered his head back to her stomach. She wasn't sure if he believed her. He had just shared something painful about his past that he so rarely wanted to talk about and she knew without saying that he was afraid he might turn out to be like his parents, so she didn't want to push the matter. At least not until he was feeling less vulnerable.