Chapter 17: Moving On “Oof!” Buffy breathed out as the baby kicked her hard. Cordelia stopped hitting the punching bag and turned to her friend with concern written all over her face. “You okay?” she asked with a frown. “I'm fine. Just the baby is practicing along side with you. Let's just say, Auw!” Buffy answered clutching her stomach and glared at the bump. “You need a break?” Cordelia asked somewhat hopefully, she knew she was in good shape but she wasn't a slayer, she was normal human who couldn't keep doing the sets Buffy had shown without tiring rather quickly. But she also had too much pride to just ask for a break. Buffy sensed her need for a time to catch her breath and she nodded. “Yeah, why not”, she said and walked to the chair Angel had set for her so she didn't have to stay on her feet. She toed off her shoes and sighed in relief, wiggling her toes. “We should do something about Gunn”, Cordelia suddenly changed the subject and Buffy forgot the baby's kicks as she turned to look at her, not sure what the brunette meant. “What?” “Gunn. He's all mopey and broody because Miss 'Low-cut dress' turned out to be a energy sucking demon. Angel already handles the brooding for everyone”, Cordelia explained while going to the bench and grabbing a towel from it. She wiped the beads of sweat off her face before draping it over her shoulder and taking a long drink from her water bottle. “Angel doesn't brood all that much. Anymore”, Buffy defended and Cordelia turned to face her, giving her a look saying she was wrong and off topic. “He doesn't!” Buffy defended her opinion, but didn't manage to wipe the look off Cordelia's face. Finally she sighed in surrender. “So, what can we do about Gunn?” “We'll just keep his mind on other things. Like he likes to kill things to relieve stress”, Cordelia offered, her face brightening from her own insights. “But I'm not getting a vision for him!” she added sternly, placing her hands on her hips. Buffy just chuckled shaking her head. “I think that you don't have any choice in the matter”, she stated, but Cordelia's opinion didn't waver. “I know! We'll take him to that new club”, Cordelia said excitedly, truth be told, she herself needed a way to get her thoughts off the creepy crawlies and most of all, Preston. Not that she'd ever admit it. “Somehow I doubt a dance club is really Gunn's thing”, Buffy stated gently. “You might be right”, Cordelia sighed, there went her great idea. “How 'bout an actual bar? Alcohol is the universal way to numb your brain”, Buffy suggested and Cordelia looked pointedly at her stomach. Buffy glanced down then back to Cordelia. “Hey, I'm not saying I'm going to drink anything. I'm pregnant. Besides, I've learned my lesson when I went to that frat party with you”, she stated, strategically leaving out the whole fiasco with the cursed beer, not one of her greatest moments. The whole ordeal was something she wanted to forget ever happening, especially what lead to it. She still couldn't believe it, she knew she had been lonely and trying to prove to everyone that she was just fine, that she could live without Angel, but now it all seemed like bad dream. Cordelia looked like she was considering the idea, finally she just shrugged. “Okay, fine. I guess it's better than nothing. But I still think my idea was better”, she said, again shrugging her shoulders. She took another drink of water and threw the towel to the chair. “Are we done now?” she asked anxious to get off the sweaty clothes. Buffy smiled at the airy tone and nodded. “Sure, why not. I'll talk to Angel about the night out, you handle Gunn”, she answered with a shrug and started to move the equipments off the floor. “Oh, like Angel would let you go anywhere unchaperoned”, Cordelia answered rolling her eyes and started to help with moving the equipment.
Angel parked the car on the other side of the street from Caritas and the group crossed the street, Buffy and Cordelia keeping the tail. Cordelia slowed down her pace and turned to look at Buffy. “Do you really think that a demon bar is a good place to take him to forget his demony ex?” she questioned obvious to the fact that the man in question could hear her. “It's because of Angel, so he can drink too”, Buffy answered. “But he can't! He's our designated driver!” Cordelia protested. Buffy looked at her with a mix of amusement and puzzlement. “Drink as in eat”, she explained with a grin. Cordelia looked somewhat embarrassed by her outburst, but then she noticed that the others had stopped by the door and were looking at her. “What?!” she shot at the men and walked past them into the karaoke bar. The others followed close behind her. They were about to seek an empty table when they came to a sudden stop as they saw Lindsey on the stage, singing and playing guitar. “Wow, he actually can sing”, Buffy stated in wonderment, there were things that Lindsey hadn't lied to her about, who would've thought. “Yeah, for an evil guy he's got a great voice”, Cordelia agreed, her eyes glued to the stage. “He's okay”, Angel muttered glaring at the man that had mesmerized his team and girlfriend. “Oh come on, he's better than just okay”, Gunn said. “I quite agree”, Wesley added his own two bits into the conversation. Angel's frown only deepened. Buffy turned her gaze from the stage to him and smiled sympathetically. She touched his arm and smiled wider as he turned to look at her, he was so cute when he was jealous and pouting. “There's no need to be jealous”, she whispered, amusement clear in her voice. “Yeah, so what if he's better singer than you. Way better. I mean way, way better”, Cordelia said drifting off, still looking wistfully at the singing lawyer. Angel turned his glare to her, but like usual she didn't even notice. Lorne who was standing by the stage, spotted the group by the bar and quickly made his way to them. He was wearing a wide grin on his face. “Hello there. I haven't seen you here in a while. You're not here to sing are you?” he asked, looking at Angel almost accusingly. “No. What kind of friends would we be if we'd let him go after that?” Cordelia answered, signing at Lindsey. She really didn't want to hear another Barry Manilow song coming from Angel. “No, we're not here to sing. Just thought it would be good to get out for a change”, Buffy answered shooting glares at Cordelia who didn't see them since she was too busy listening to Lindsey with her eyes fixed on him. “Oh good”, Lorne sighed in obvious relief, then his eyes lowered to Buffy's expertly covered stomach. “Well, look at you, honeybun, you are practically glowing. The impending motherhood suits you.” He rubbed her belly and got a kick from the baby. He smiled more widely at that. “Who's gonna be a little soccer player”, he cooed to the bump. “Lorne, could you keep it down a little. We're not exactly announcing it to the world. And you're not really seeing the baby as a soccer player, are you? Cause it's gonna be a bitch to wash grass stains out of the clothes”, Buffy frowned. “Oh, mum's the word. I will be all secretive, like a character in a film-noir film”, Lorne promised, then shifted his gaze back to her stomach that despite it's size wasn't obvious to someone who didn't know to look. “But uncle Lorne reserves the right to babysit the bundle if needed.” “I don't know if Angel is going to let him...”, at Angel's look she added, “or her, out of his sight till thirty, if even then”, Buffy stated with a chuckle. “Well, mom and pops are going to need some alone time at some point, then I'll be your demon.” “We'll let you know”, Buffy smiled. Lindsey finished the song and the crowd burst into cheers, surprisingly even Wesley and Gunn were among them. He stepped down from the stage and walked to Lorne, only then noticing the group he was standing with. “Man, that was intense”, Gunn said in amazement and Lindsey looked at him strangely. “I agree, it was quite a performance”, Wesley added. “Wow”, was all Cordelia could say. “Are you people drunk?” Lindsey questioned, then his eyes landed on Buffy. “Buffy”, he said her name, noticing that Angel stood straighter, glaring at him and draped his arm protectively around Buffy's waist. “Chri...” Buffy started to answer, quickly realizing her mistake and her anger towards him returned. “Lindsey”, she corrected more coldly. She turned to the others, ignoring Lindsey. “You know what, guys, I think we should go somewhere else, my slayer senses are going all wonky in this company”, she said and the others nodded in understanding. She turned to leave and Lindsey reached to stop her, but the low growl coming from Angel made him pull his hand back. “We'll see you some other time, Lorne”, Buffy said looking past Lindsey. The others gave their quick goodbyes to Lorne before leaving the place.
Buffy was sitting in the kitchen, moving her breakfast around the plate. A frown was marring her face and she was so deep in her thoughts she didn't even notice Cordelia walk in. For a moment Cordelia just looked at her before sitting down. Finally Buffy realized she wasn't alone and turned her attention to the brunette. “So, what was the whole big on tension thing last night?” she asked despite seeing Buffy was reluctant to answer. “Nothing”, Buffy tried to evade it, but Cordelia was having none of it. She rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, Angel getting all growly, Lindsey looking like someone insulted his mother, of course assuming he has one, and you getting all broody, doing your best Angel impression. The whole point of the trip was to get Gunn snap out of it and now I have to watch all three of you brood! It's getting depressive!” Buffy turned to look at the brunette, her face showing amusement and sadness at the same time. She sighed deeply, knowing Cordelia wouldn't give up until she answered. “It's just... When Lindsey was pretending to be Christian, I considered him as a friend, someone who didn't know about all the darkness in my life. I know it's always gonna be there, no matter what I do I'll always be the slayer, and I've learned to accept it. But it was nice to know someone who thought I was just a normal girl, who didn't think of me as the slayer. He was easy to talk to and he had that whole southern gentleman thing going on, and I thought he liked me for me. But now I know it was all just a lie, it was just so Wolfram & Hart could mess with Angel's head and use me to do it”, Buffy said the end bitterly. Cordelia looked at her with real sympathy and grabbed a hold of her hand. “I can't believe I'm saying this, but, have you considered that maybe it all wasn't just an act? I'm not defending him, but he did look a little hurt when you gave him the cold shoulder last night. I know he's evil and all that, but you're a easy person to be friends with.” Buffy looked at her friend, her former high school nemesis, with conflicted emotions, she wanted to believe into what she was saying, but she also didn't want to get hurt. It already had been too painful to discover that there had been betrayal so close to home, despite the fact that she hadn't known Christian/Lindsey all that long, she had really liked him. “You think I'm easy to be friends with?” she asked, deciding to ignore the whole issue with Lindsey for the time being. If she thought about him any more, she'd get a headache. “Do I ever say what I don't think?” Cordelia questioned with a raised eyebrow and Buffy had to smile. “I think we have established that during my demon infection period”, she smirked and Cordelia resisted the snarky comeback, Buffy wasn't brooding anymore so she was satisfied. All those moping people were starting to get on her nerves and Angel didn't pay her enough money to put up with it. She flashed an over-exaggerated smile and gave a peppy pat to the back of Buffy's hand. “Okay, how'bout some comfort shopping, huh?” she suggested jumping up to her feet. “Well, I need to get those plug things to the electric sockets”, Buffy stated to herself thoughtfully. “Okay, that's good enough excuse. Now, put away that thing you've been poking for the last half an hour and let's go”, Cordelia said and pulled Buffy up from the table, dragging her out the door before she could change her mind.
Lindsey was sitting in his office, just staring out the window at the city. His brows were knitted into a deep frown as he mulled over his thoughts. He heard the door open and close and without looking he knew it was Lilah. “What are you doing here, Lilah?” he asked still keeping his eyes on the window. “Oh, just figured I'd stop by. You know, for someone who's got a brand new hand, you're not using it to get work done”, Lilah said and sat to the chair in front of the desk. Slowly Lindsey turned in his chair and guided his eyes to her. “Somehow I doubt that, that's the real reason you're here.” Lilah sighed and rolled her eyes. “Fine. Some idiot messed up with my files, I need your copy of the Finn file”, she answered, deciding not to play around. Lindsey looked at her for a moment, his face expressionless, before sliding on his chair to the small filing cabinet. He punched the pin-code and pulled out a manila file from the drawer, flipping it open to check the right files were there. Finding the right papers in place, he locked the cabinet and slid back to his desk, handing over the folder to Lilah. As Lilah settled into going through the file, Lindsey let himself wander back to his thoughts. She was looking at him over the edge of the papers with a scrutinizing eye as she glanced through the folder. Finally she sighed and put it down with a small frown on her face. “What's the matter with you, Lindsey? You've been moody and depressive lately. Kinda like Angel, and it doesn't suit you. You're not developing conscious, are you?” Lindsey turned his eyes to her, not saying anything, just looking at her with his piercing gaze. But she didn't let herself be unnerved by it, she had played hardball with tougher and more dangerous guys and she always won. “Maybe I'm reevaluating my life”, Lindsey finally answered and Lilah rolled her eyes. “Oh come on. Just because some pretty little blonde doesn't want to be friends with you anymore”, she said with her voice dripping with sarcasm. He didn't say anything, just glared at her. Truthfully he did miss his friendship with Buffy, he knew it was based on a lie but he genuinely liked her and it had been freshing to meet with someone that wasn't rotten to the core. “Don't you have work to do, Lilah?” he finally asked. “Don't you?” she shot back and got off the chair, walking to the door. She turned around to look at him before opening it. “Get your act together, Lindsey. Just a friendly advise”, she said and left. Lindsey sank to the chair and turned his gaze back to the window, unconsciously rubbing the nearly faded scar on his wrist.
Lindsey walked into the hotel lobby, unconsciously rubbing his wrist that had just few days ago been a stub because of Angel. “What are you doing here?” Angel growled, startling him but he didn't allow himself to jump from the menacing sound. Lindsey turned to face the vampire. “I want to talk to Buffy”, he stated looking straight into Angel's eyes that were flashing golden, but he refused to be intimidated and there was no way he would back down. “No”, was all Angel said, his voice cold and deadly. His dark eyes were drilling into Lindsey, watching him like a hungry beast that wanted to rip him into shreds. Lindsey stared right back at him, he didn't let himself wither in fear even though he was pretty sure that Angel was now looking more like his evil half than the soul saving champion for the Powers. “Why don't you let her decide that”, he shot back, his cold blue eyes glaring at the vampire. “What do you want, Lindsey?” Buffy asked walking into the lobby from the office. Angel turned to look at her, his face didn't show any of the hostility that had been directed at Lindsey, but clearly he was not happy that she was in the same room with the lawyer. “Just to talk.” “Isn't it a little late for that?” Buffy questioned, folding her arms in front of herself like a shield. “Well, it might be if we don't do it now”, Lindsey stated. Buffy looked at him as if trying to find answers, the way he was looking at her made her think that if she didn't comply she might regret it later. She glanced at Angel who was looking less and less happy by the moment. “Fine, but if you try anything funny, I'll cut your other hand off”, she threatened. “Buffy, I don't think that's a good idea”, Angel protested, he didn't trust Lindsey farther than he could throw him, which was a long way but still. “Don't worry, we'll be just in the next room”, Buffy said looking at Angel, her eyes telling him to trust her. The frown on his face only deepened but grudgingly he nodded, then turned his gaze to Lindsey, his eyes flashing golden as he gave him a silent warning. Buffy noticed the not so subtle threat, but didn't say anything since she suspected Lindsey was more afraid of him than her. She turned to Lindsey and motioned him to follow before walking into the nearest empty room with him trailing behind her. She wanted to use the room where she trained Cordelia, but figured it was safer to be in a place without weapons since she could manage in a fight without them. Lindsey closed the door behind them even though he suspected Angel could still hear the conversation. For some time neither of them said anything, Buffy just stood there looking at him suspiciously, not letting herself relax in his presence, a fact that even the baby seemed to notice. She had trusted him once but not anymore, it could easily be a trick. “So talk”, she said. “I'm not gonna apologize”, Lindsey stated and she raised an eyebrow in question. Not a usual way to start a conversation. “So why are you here? And what's with the cryptic?” She was trying to act casual but she was keeping an eye on every move he made, even when he lowered the bag on his shoulder, she was ready for a fight. “I left Wolfram & Hart”, he stated, and again she looked at him in question, she hadn't been expecting that. “Why? What made you do that? I thought it was the only way for you not to become your father,” she questioned, but her voice showed her disbelief in both him leaving the firm and his claim that working there was the only way to avoid what happened to his father happening to him. “Don't worry, I'm not gonna be a fighter for the cause. I just got tired of all the shit. Maybe I'll find another way not to become my father”, he answered with a smirk. He wasn't leaving because he had suddenly seen the light, it wasn't even the contempt he'd seen in Buffy's eyes when she looked at him and it wasn't that he'd suddenly started to feel remorse for the things he'd done. It was simply that he had lost his motivation. “They're not just gonna let you walk away so you can go and find yourself”, she stated, still not letting he guard down, it could easily be a trick even though he looked like he was telling the truth. He nodded. “Yeah, I know. It's gonna be interesting”, he answered with a lopsided smile. “Interesting? That's a stupid way of looking at it”, Buffy said, rolling her eyes and pulled a chuckle out of him. He really had missed her. “I think I can handle it. But I'm not the only one they're not letting go. They are still gonna come after you and your kid.” Instinctively, not even noticing it, her hand went down to her stomach, covering it protectively. “I know. But they're not gonna get my baby”, she stated fiercely. “They've got more resources than you can dream of, they're not just gonna give up”, he warned. “I don't care. I don't care how many dirty tricks they've got in the sleeve, I don't care about any prophecies of what my baby's gonna be. All I care about is my family and I'm gonna protect them with everything I've got and a building full of lawyers is not gonna stop me”, she said, her voice steady and showing her conviction. Lindsey chuckled, shaking his head and she sent a glare at his way. He turned to look at her, loosing the smile. “Just stay alert, we don't play by the rules like white hats”, he stated and Buffy noticed the form he used: we, not they. Well, she hadn't thought he would suddenly go straight and narrow. He picked up his bag from the floor, flung it over his shoulder and turned to leave. “Lindsey”, her voice stopped him and he turned to look at her. It still felt strange to hear her say his real name. “Just... be careful. I may not like you very much at the moment, but I still don't want you to get killed”, she said. She could still easily remember the time they were friends, or at least she thought they were, and sometimes it was hard to believe he was working for the bad guys. He just nodded and walked away, almost colliding into Angel as he stepped out the door. “So you're leaving?” Angel asked nodding to the bag on Lindsey's shoulder. “Yeah. Los Angeles, you can keep it.” “Wolfram & Hart isn't just going to let you walk away, you know that don't you?” Angel said and Lindsey nodded with a small smirk playing on his lips. “Yeah, it's gonna be interesting”, he answered, he was very well aware of the fact that no one just walked away from Wolfram & Hart. “That's a dangerous attitude”, Angel stated and Lindsey almost chuckled at that. “Buffy said it was stupid.” “Well, she's right.” “I'm not gonna be a white hat, a champion for the cause and all that crap. But take care of her, the company is gonna come after her with full force”, Lindsey warned, then turned her gaze to the door he had left Buffy behind. “She's hell of a woman”, he said and turned to look at Angel. “And you don't deserve her”, he added looking Angel straight in the eyes. “Maybe. But she likes to make her own decisions”, Angel stated and got a nod of agreement from Lindsey.
“Yeah, I've noticed. But I'm leaving and I don't care what you do with this town”, he stated and walked out the door. Angel looked after him and frowned, he knew someone would replace Lindsey in Wolfram & Hart and that would probably be Lilah, but the problem was that there was going to be a new player because it would take a while to know his or her style. Dismissing the new problem for the moment, he decided to go check on Buffy and see how she was doing. He walked to the room where she was and smiled at the sight of her talking to the baby. He decided no matter what the Wolfram & Hart would do, he would never let anything happen to his family, no matter what he'd have to do.
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