A/N: Thank you for all the reviews and being patient with me, real life is a bitch sometimes. And thank you to my wonderful beta, Mac who's been very helpful with this fic and who got this chapter back in a heartbeat. And if you haven't read Angel's blue eyed girl's What really happened behind the Wings go read it (if you're old enough of course), it's really good therapy and now there's a sequel for it Waiting for the Wedding Bells. Chapter 5 For weeks, Buffy had been secretly meeting Liam and every time she left him behind, it felt like she ripping her heart out all over again. She was starting to dread the moment she would accomplish what ever she was supposed to do; she didn't know how she could stand leaving Liam. But she had to pat herself on the back for her self-control, she had been seeing Liam in private and they hadn't gone further than some heavy kissing, he was trying to be a gentleman while she still had fears of what it would do to her and to their relationship if she lost control. She had tried to keep her distance from him but it was fruitless, a battle she never won. xxx Buffy looked outside the window with a longing gaze. Her mind was drifting off to Liam and she was starting to feel boxed in. She spun around, looking at Deirdre who was doing some kind of needlework on the sofa. “I think I'll go out for a walk, check the grounds. I've been cooped up inside a bit too much already,” Buffy said and picked up her shawl, draping it over her shoulders. “I am sorry but I did not understand,” Deirdre said looking at her, confusion written all over her face. Buffy turned her gaze to her, flashing an embarrassed smile. “Sorry. Giles always says I mistreat the English language. I said I am going out for a walk, I have been too much inside too much and it's making me jittery... anxious,” she explained and Deirdre nodded in understanding. “Perhaps you should take a companion along with you,” she suggested but Buffy shook her head. “No need, I won't go far. And I like to stay out of people's way so they won't wonder about my strange 20th century behavior,” she answered and headed to the door. “See ya,” she called out and with that, left. Deirdre let out a weary sigh, looking at the closed door. Buffy was slowly running along the back road when suddenly someone grabbed her arm, pulling her off the road. She lifted her hand, ready to strike her attacker but then she saw the surprised face of Liam. She quickly lowered her hand, hiding it behind her back. “You are a fierce lass, aren't ya,” Liam stated with a thick accent, he was more than little surprised that she had been ready to hit him using her fist instead of a ladylike slap of a hand. “Don't do that!” she cried out and gently hit his chest, keeping her real strength in check. He groaned from the impact and his hand came up to rub the spot. “Ow. I'm starting to believe you can take care of yourself,” he said more to himself than to her. “I told you,” she reminded him, then her gaze softened, had she hit him too hard? “You told me,” he amended and gently placed his arm to her waist, pulling her closer. “Don't I even get a kiss for greetings?” he asked, looking absolutely sinful. “Maybe,” she answered looking coy but when his lips descended down to hers, she responded into the kiss without a second thought. xxx Almost like Liam had been expecting to run into her, he had a horse with him and after little convincing he took Buffy to the cabin with him. Like a gentleman, he opened the door for her and escorted her inside. She looked around herself, the the cabin was just as small on the inside as it looked on the outside, it was very bare, few cabinets, a kitchen table, a fireplace covered with soot and a bed behind a curtain that was only half fastened to the wire running over it. Liam looked like he was regretting of bringing her inside. “I know, it is not luxurious but it helps to keep out the rain,” he said with a shrug. “Believe me, I've seen worse places”, she answered and turned her eyes to the window. The glass was sprinkled with drops of water, it really had started to rain. “So what do you suppose we do here while we're stranded?” she asked with a raised eyebrow and pulled back the curtain before sitting to the edge of the bed. Naughty images of her and Liam in a passionate embrace invaded her mind and she had to shift her eyes off of him. “Few things do come to mind but they are not proper to a lady's ears”, he answered and immediately her eyes snapped to his. “My ears aren't that proper,” she stated looking at him calmly even though she was feeling anything but, it felt like her heart was trying to burst out through her chest, blood was rushing through her veins that she could almost hear it and a wetness was gathering between her thighs from the thoughts of improper things he could do to her. Her eyes held his and it felt like the cool room was starting to pick up heat. But Liam broke the stare, she was too tempting and for once he had found a woman who he wanted to protect from himself, she had so much innocence and purity, while she was still not naive and sometimes even brash but he didn't want to sully that purity with his actions. He turned to the window and stared into the rain till he managed to get his blood flow to other parts of his body than his manhood. He turned back to look at her, his hands held behind his back. “There's a rumor going around town that you have a beau waiting for you,” he said acting indifferent but didn't manage to sound like it. For a while Buffy just stared at him, trying to figure out what he was saying and then it hit her. “Riley?” “Sounds like an Englishman,” he stated not sounding very happy. “He's from Iowa,” she answered. “I don't like the sound of that.” A smile rose to her lips, he was jealous, he was actually jealous because of Riley. “He's a potential boyfriend but I'm not in love with him,” she assured him. “Marriage does not require love. But you have not been promised to him?” First he sounded almost bitter, then hopeful. He crossed the distance between them, his eyes not leaving her face. “No, I haven't been promised to him. And love in a marriage is a must for me, I will never marry a person that I don't love”, she answered. She reached out and took his hand into hers, pulling him to sit next to her on the bed. Her small hand cupped his cheek, her thumb brushing against his lower lip. “Liam, I...” she started but like he was anticipating her words, he interrupted her. “I am not a good man,” he said and tried to pull away but she wouldn't let him. She turned him to look at her and shook her head. “No, I know you are a good man,” she vehemently denied his words. “And how do you know, from the kisses I have stolen in the dark?” he questioned, obviously not just taking her word for it. “Because I have seen your soul,” she answered and immediately wanted to frown, that sounded so corny. A humorless laugh fell from his lips. “Maybe you should tell that to my father, he does not think I have one,” he said with well covered sadness hidden in his voice. “Liam,” she whispered and cupped his cheek with her small hand. “I could never love a man who doesn't have a soul as beautiful as yours,” she said sincerely. Or the same one, she added in her mind. She had no illusions, she knew she would never love another person as much as she loved Angel and she could feel the same love for Liam because they shared the same soul and despite their differences, they were still the same. Liam got up from the bed and walked to the window, staring outside into the rain. He was feeling confused, emotions he had never felt before were stirring inside him. “Liam”, she said softly and he turned to look at her. Why did she have to look so tempting sitting on that old bed? He wanted to close his eyes to shun the image away but he couldn't tear his eyes off of her. He loosened his cravat, suddenly it felt extremely tight. Her fingers brushed the bed invitingly, beckoning him to join her despite knowing she shouldn't, that it was wrong but her willpower was starting to meet its end. Without thinking, he crossed the floor to her. She was leaning against the two pillows that were on the bed and looking more sinful and innocent than any of the barmaids he had had before. He blanketed her body, pulling her flush against his and kissed her with burning desire. She responded into the kiss without loosing a second, her arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him even closer to her if that was possible. His lips wandered down to her neck, his fingers brushing away the long strands of hair and as his tongue traced the scar that he had found to be one of her most sensitive spots, he briefly wondered how it had got there to mark the otherwise perfect skin. Despite the breathy sighs she was voicing, he managed to wake up to the reality and pulled away. He got off of her and sat up to the edge of the bed, desperately trying to get himself under control. He closed his eyes and ran a nervous hand through his hair. Buffy was steadying her breath, watching him fight for control. Slowly she rose up to sitting next to him, her eyes studying his face. He was staring at the floor, keeping his eyes firmly away from her to stay away from the temptation. She shifted closer to him, taking a hold of his chin and turning him to face her. His eyes locked with hers and she was not prepared for the intensity in them. “Liam,” she whispered and smoothed her hand over his cheek. “I...” she started but decided not to say any more, just kissed him. The kiss started tentatively but soon grew more passionate and hungry. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed her body against his. She could feel his fingers pulling open the strings on the back of her dress. But then his fingers seized and he pulled back, pressing his face against her neck. “God, lass. What are you doing to me? What kind of a spell have you put me under?” he questioned and pressed a soft kiss to her neck, his lips brushing against the scar Angel had left there and shivers of desire ran through her body. “Sorry, I'm spell free,” she answered running her fingers through his hair. He lifted his face from its hiding place and looked at her. “I do not wish to sully your reputation,” he said, softly brushing his hand across her cheek. “It's not anybody's business how we decide to express our feelings,” she answered fiercely and took his hand into hers, threading their fingers together. “Just... kiss me,” she whispered and tentatively he leaned closer to her and softly kissed her lips. The kiss turned more passionate with every passing moment and his fingers returned to work on the strings holding her dress firmly in place. Expertly he opened the fastenings. “Thank God,” Buffy sighed as the bodice loosened around her. “You have no idea how uncomfortable that thing is,” she added but all thoughts of it was vanished from her mind as his lips brushed against the raised skin of her scar. He smiled and continued to release her from her clothing. He pulled her up standing and the heavy dress slid to the ground. He picked it up and laid it on the table so it wouldn't get dirty from the floor. Then he started to remove her undergarments. She closed her eyes, trying to get her breathing to steady, her heart was pounding in her chest and she felt such desire for him that if he soon didn't get rid of the clothes, she was going to rip them off. “I need you,” she whispered, her voice coming out husky and inviting. He swallowed. With fierce determination he quickly shed the rest of her clothes off and as she turned around, his mouth went dry. Again he swallowed, his eyes raking over her naked body, hungrily taking everything in. “Beautiful,” he whispered to himself and a blush rose to her skin. She reached out to him, taking his hand into hers and pulled him closer to her. Her lips were hovering over his, wanting to taste them. “You have too many clothes on,” she said and raised her eyes to his. His gaze grew more heated and it was almost like his eyes darkened to near black from her words, but they still held the fire of his soul making them alive. He took her into his arms and kissed her with hungry passion, devouring her mouth with his lips. As the kiss went on, their hunger for each other only grew. With determinate moves he shed his clothes off and backed her to the bed, gently laying her down to it. He broke the kiss and took a deep calming breath, closing his eyes in concentration. She watched him almost in awe, it was still strange to see him breathe, actually breathe in need of the air. He opened his eyes, locking his gaze with hers. “Are you certain?” he asked, giving her a chance to back down but wishing she didn't because his cock was so hard it was starting to hurt. “Absolutely certain,” she answered, her hand coming up to run along his cheek before disappearing to the back of his head and pulling him into a kiss. Her fingers threaded into his hair and she smiled against his lips, she was still getting used to him with a long hair. The kiss grew more heated by the passing second, their hands hungrily running over the naked skin and it almost came too much to bare. His hand traveled down her body to between her thighs and his fingers brushed against her clit. She let out a soft sigh and her eyes closed. His fingers kept on going, gently touching her dripping wet sex before one finger pushed inside her hot passage. She opened her eyes, looking into his, and tightened her inner muscles around his finger. He almost moaned, he couldn't wait to be inside her, to feel those muscles squeezing him. He kissed her hungrily and pulled his finger from inside her, placing his hard member against her entrance. He pulled back just a little, staring into her eyes as he pushed inside her. She moaned, biting her lip as he slid all the way inside her, his girth stretching her. Liam fought for control as her tightness surrounded him. He also felt jealousy bubbling inside him, she was not untried even though she was tight as a virgin. But he didn't want to think about who the man might be. He turned his eyes to hers and brushed away the lone tear that was threatening to fall. “Am I hurting you?” he asked concerned. She gave him a teary smile and shook her head. “No, not hurting,” she whispered and took his hand into hers, brushing a soft kiss over the digits. Suddenly she was feeling emotional, the feel of him inside her and his warm body pressed against her was making her think of all the possibilities she and Angel could have had if so many things hadn't been on their way. Taking a deep breath, she threw the what-if's out of her mind and concentrated on the man she was with. She smiled and threaded her fingers with his, squeezing her inner muscles around his hardness. He groaned, closing his eyes tightly. He had had a lot of women so he had experience and stamina but he knew he wouldn't last long with this one. “Buffy,” he groaned and tightened his hold on her hand, placing it to the pillow over her head. He opened his eyes and reached for her other hand, kissing the knuckles before placing it next to her other one. He kissed her lips and slowly pulled out of her before thrusting back inside. Her back arched off the bed, her legs wrapping around his more tightly and a soft moan fell from her lips. She pulled her hand free and grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him into a searing kiss. Her hand cupped his cheek, her fingers brushing away the sweat from his brow before traveling down his neck and over his shoulder to feel the smooth skin of his back. She could feel the muscles rippling under the skin from the exertion as he thrust inside her. He felt scolding hot, something Angel had never been but still despite knowing the body was new to her, that she and Angel had only had one time together, her body seemed to respond to him like there had been more, like they had experienced pleasure more than just once on that other rainy night. They were slowly moving together, their hands reaching for every bit of naked skin and lips hungrily devouring each other. But each touch and kiss was turning more heated as they were climbing towards the first release. Liam was fighting to keep himself under control, he wanted her to reach the climax before he surrendered to his own pleasure but the powerful muscles rippling around his cock were making the task difficult. His lips went to the scar on her neck, suckling it and the breathy moans she was voicing told him she wasn't far from reaching the first peak. She was trashing under her from the pleasure as he thrust into her with more power, his movements becoming more erratic as he was feeling his own release nearing. She stared into his eyes and a lonely tear ran down from the corner of her eye. “Angel,” she breathed out as the rush of hot pleasure ran through her body and she reached the peak. As her inner muscles rippled around his girth, he let go of the shred of control and with her name falling from her lips, he spilled his seed inside her. “I love you,” she whispered, almost too softly that he didn't hear her. He brushed his lips across her cheek and wrapped his arms around her small frame before rolling them around so she was resting on top of him. They were both breathing hard, their sweaty bodies clinging to each other. She felt completely boneless, pleasantly numb even, something that the worst mistake of her life named Parker had not managed to achieve. After a while she tried to shift off of him since he really did need to breathe but he wouldn't let her, his arms tightened around her and he brushed a soft kiss across her forehead. She smiled and set her head to his shoulder, her fingers drawing lazy patterns on the sweaty skin of his chest. As his mind slowly started to work again, he came to a realization. “Did you call me an angel?” he asked with his brows furrowing together and turned to look at her. She swallowed, staring into his eyes. Had she really called him Angel? “You look like Angel. But don't mind me, you really shouldn't listen to the things a girl says when she's having a mind-blowing orgasm,” she answered and looked away. “Any of the things? Even that you love me?” he questioned and she turned her gaze back to him. “That was true,” she answered softly and waited for him to panic. For a moment the look in his eyes was like he was ready to jump from the bed and run to the hills but he didn't move. She started to shift off of him but again he held her in place. “Buffy. You should not love me,” he said. She let out a soft sigh. She almost said 'We've already had this conversation' but managed to stop herself since it was Angel, not Liam she had the conversation with. “I don't think I have a choice in the matter. You can't choose who you love, sometimes you want to hate the person but you still love him with everything you've got. Love isn't something you can decide who you give it to, it's not in your brain, it's in your heart, in your blood.” For a long moment he just stared into her eyes. “Then we are both damned,” he stated softly, his hand smoothing her hair before his fingers wrapped into the long locks and he pulled her into a kiss. To be continued…