BtVS Season 4 Quotes:

Living Conditions (s4e2)

Buffy: You run?
Giles: And jump. And bend. And occasionally, frolic.
Buffy: Okay, and uh, what's with the motorbike and scooter magazine?
Giles: Congratulations, you've found me out. I'm a mod jogger.
Buffy: Okay, you're not having one of those mid-life things, are you? Cause I'm still going "ick" from the last time you tried to recapture your youth.

Willow: Okay, so that was the evil twin, right? 'Cause she was bordering on Cordelia-esque.

Buffy: So then Kathy's like, "It's share time." And I'm like, "Oh yeah? Share this!"
Oz: So either you hit her or you did your wacky mime routine for her.
Buffy: Well, I didn't do either actually. But she deserves it, don't you think?
Oz: Nobody deserves a mime, Buffy.
Buffy: Hmm, Kathy does. She deserves to be locked in an invisible box and blown away by an imaginary wind and... and...
Oz: Forced to wear a binding unitard?

Oz: Just a... just a thought, Buffy, but do you think all this ranting is scaring away potential demons?
Buffy: You're right. Oh! She's even affecting my work, now. She's the Titanic. She's a crawling black cancer. (She kicks a bench, breaking it) She's... other really bad things.
Oz: On the plus side you've killed the bench, which was looking shifty.

Buffy: What are you guys doing? This is... this is ridiculous.
Xander: Buffy, this hurts me more than it hurts you.
Buffy: Not yet, but it will.
Xander: Don't say that. Oh, PLEASE don't say that.
Giles: We're doing this to stop you from making a terrible mistake. Clearly something is amiss.
Buffy: Yeah, something's amiss here, a Miss Kathy Newman. Giles, Giles look in my bag. Look in the bottom pocket of my bag. She has parts that can grow after they're detached. She irons her jeans. She's evil. She has to be destroyed.
Giles: I fear the demon that Buffy met in the woods has somehow possessed her.
Buffy: Lite FM. Love songs. Nothing but love songs.
Xander: You think?

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Fear, Itself (s4e4)

Xander: Prepare to have your spines tingled and your gooses bumped by the terrifying... Fantasia. Fantasia?
Oz: Maybe it's 'cause of all the horrific things we've seen, but hippos wearing tutus just don't unnerve me the way they used to.
Xander: Phantasm. It was supposed to be Phantasm. Stupid video store.

Xander: Sensing a disturbance in the force, Master?
Oz: Ah, left speaker's crackin' a little bit. (pulls out a knife)
Xander: And you feel stabbing it is the proper solution?

Willow: We have to force fun upon her. Yeah, and if Parker shows up, we'll just axe murder him. That's Halloween-y.

Xander: Hail, ye olde... varletty... thou.
Willow: I'm Joan of Arc. I figured we had a lot in common, seeing as how I was almost burned at the stake. And plus she had that close relationship with God.
Xander: And you are...?
(Oz reveals a name tag with "GOD" written on it)
Xander: Of course.
Xander: Wish I'd thought of that before I put down my deposit. I could've been God.
Oz: Blasphemer.

Buffy: Will, let's be realistic here. Okay, your basic spells are usually only about fifty-fifty.
Willow: Oh, yeah? Well... so's your face.

Buffy: This is Gachnar?
Xander: Big overture, little show.
Gachnar: I am the Dark Lord of nightmares, the bringer of terror. Tremble before me! Fear me!
Willow: He's so cute.

Xander: Who's a little fear demon? Come on. Who's a little fear demon?
Giles: Don't taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why? Can he hurt me?
Giles: No, it's just tacky.

Anya: What?
Xander: That's your scary costume?
Anya: Bunnies frighten me.

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Hush (s4e10)

Giles: I need you to take Spike for a few days.
Xander: What?
Spike: What?
Anya: What?
Spike: I'm not staying with him.
Giles: I have a friend who's coming to town and I'd like us to be alone.
Anya: Oh you mean an orgasm friend?
Giles: Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could have said.

Xander: How could you say I'm using you?
Anya: You don't care about what I think, you don't ask about my day.
Xander: You really did turn into a real girl, didn't you?
Anya: See? You make jokes during my pain.

Anya: This isn't a relationship. You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.
Xander: Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my friends?
Spike: Oh we're not your friends. Go on.
Giles: Please don't.

Spike: I'm not having these two shag while I'm tied to a chair three feet away.
Xander: That's not exactly one of my fantasies either.

Spike: Like I'd bite you anyway.
Xander: Oh you would.
Spike: Not bloody likely.
Xander: I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist and delicious.
Spike: All right, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat.
Xander: And don't you forget it.

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The Yoko Factor (s4e20)

Spike: She's a lot more than that. The Slayer's dangerous.
Adam: Yes, she makes things interesting.
Spike: No, see you're not getting it, Mr. Bits. You're gonna be interestingly dead. Little miss Tiny bollockses up the plans of every would be unstoppable bad ass who sets foot in this town.

Spike to Adam: Wow. I mean, yeah. I get why all the demons fall in line with you. You're like Tony Robbins if he was a big, scary, Frankenstein looking... You're exactly like Tony Robbins.

Angel: Riley Finn.
Riley: I know you?
Angel: We have a friend in common.
Riley: Angel.
Angel: Welcoming committee your idea?
Riley: Way I heard it, you're all peaceable now. You didn't by any chance go and loose that pesky soul again, did you?
Angel: Don't push me boy.
Riley: Now what possibly could have happened with Buffy, to make you loose your soul.
Angel: That'd be between me and her.
Riley: Where do you think you're going?
Angel: Going to see an old girlfriend.
Riley: You think I'll let that happen?
Angel: Think you can stop me?

Riley: I told you you weren't coming near her.
Buffy: You've gotta be kidding me. This is why you came?
Angel: No. This was an accident.
Buffy: Running your car into a tree is an accident. Running your fist into somebody's face is a plan. Please explain this to me.
Angel to Riley: Put that gun down.
Riley: It's pretty much all I've got left. So I'm thinking not. He attacked four of my men, Buffy. I think he's up to his old tricks.
Buffy: He won't hurt anybody. Tell him.
Angel to Riley: I might hurt you.
Riley: Please, try.
Angel: Some threat. You can barely stand.
Riley: Trigger finger feels okay.
Angel to Buffy: You actually sleep with this guy?
(Riley punches Angel, Angel hits back and Buffy comes between, pushing them away, Angel landing on the bed)
Buffy: Okay! Stop it! Okay, that's enough! I see one more display of testosterone poisoning and I will personally put you both in a hospital. Anybody think I'm exaggerating?
Angel: He started...

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