Happiness before heartbreak.

Written by: Steven S.DeKnight. . Summary: .

Warren and his borrowed balls. Xander's yearly preaching. There is nothing funny that can be said about this. Not good.

Quotes: Willow: Uh, you could, you could bring your friend. Tara: I wasn't gonna... I-I mean, if you have a friend... Willow: No! I'm, oh, I-I'm friendless. Tara: Yeah, yeah, no friends. I-I mean, I have friends... Willow: Right, many dear friends, yeah. Buffy: Guess this was kind of a lame sisters' day out, huh? I make up for trying to kill you by taking you to places you can't go in. Anya: Do you still want to get married? (when Xander doesn't answer) Oh. Xander: Ahn, it's a very complicated question. Anya: No, actually, it's really not. It's kind of an either-or deal. Do you want to get married? Xander: Someday, yes, very much. When we're ready. I don't want you to take this as a bad thing. It's good. I love you, I love you so much, I'm just trying to be honest with you. Anya: Yes, honesty *now*. Congratulations, Xander, on being honest now. I wonder what the medal will say. Xander: Okay, clearly I'm not handling this well. Anya: Well, duh! Anya: I wish you felt the pain of a thousand searing pokers boiling your heart in its own juices! Xander: I know, honey. I totally deserve that. Anya: I ... I wish you had tentacles where your beady eyes should be! I wish your intestines were tied in knots and ripped apart inside your lousy gut! Xander: They are. Anya: (hopefully) Really? Right now? Does it hurt? Xander: God, yes. It hurts so bad it's killing me. Anya ... I love you, I want to make this work. Anya: Those are metaphor intestines! You're not in any real pain! What's wrong with me? Dawn: Why don't I come patrolling with you tonight? Buffy: Oh. And then? Maybe we can invite over some strangers and ask them to feed you candy. Dawn: Well, you guys went out patrolling every night when you were my age. Buffy: True ... but technically, you're one-and-a-half. Willow: Well, if there's anything we can do, just let us- Anya: Actually ... um ... there is an eensy something I could use a little help with. You're lesbians, so the hating of men will come in handy. (cheerfully) Let's talk about Xander. Buffy: I don't think he could feel any worse. Anya: Let's test that theory. Buffy: Anya, Xander's my friend. I know what he did was wrong, and ... if it had happened to me, I'd... Anya: (hopefully) Wish his penis would explode? Willow: Well, Xander is a guy, so... it's kinda not the surprise that he likes to watch... girls... Why are we talking about this? Anya: We're comforting me! Tara: Well, I-I guess it's ... natural for guys to be interested in- Anya: God! What kind of lesbians are you?! If you love men so much, go love men! Anya: Oh my God. Spike *hates* Xander. Maybe I could get him to wish... dammit, if only he were a woman. Got it! If I can somehow get someone to wish that Spike were a woman, then I could go to him - well, he'd be a her by then, then I could go to her...

My review for the episode: Coming up... 7 +